悲伤,丧亲之痛和治疗
什么是悲伤?
悲伤是我们所经历的最深的痛苦之一. It is the normal and adaptive process of adjusting to any experience of loss or unwanted change. 无论损失是否在意料之中,它总是令人震惊的.
Although each person's expression of grief is unique, it is a universal human experience. No one who has loved another can escape the pain of loss or the process of grieving that goes with it.
Although we live in a time when the social norm is focused on "getting over it,“悲伤是一个值得我们最大尊重的过程. 无论是我们还是别人,都不能撇开、评判或安抚我们的悲伤.
如果你需要帮助来应对你的悲伤,请联系 加州大学旧金山分校社会工作系 请拨打(415)353-1504与能提供帮助的人交谈.
理解你的悲伤
It can be helpful to think of your grief as a journey through an unknown land with trails that are often difficult to find. 以下是一些可以帮助你了解这一点的标记, 尽管你正在经历失去, 你没有“迷路”." There are some guideposts on the journey, placed there by others who have traveled this path.
没有“对”或“错”的情绪
Strong emotions are normal, and it is common for us to judge ourselves for experiencing them. 很大程度上取决于你和死者之间的特殊关系, the circumstances surrounding the loss and our own personal comfort with strong emotions. Accepting the whole range without self-criticism is one of the major challenges of grief.
常见的情绪包括强烈的悲伤情绪, 愤怒, 恐惧, 绝望, 孤独, 内疚, 怨恨, 救援, 后悔和易怒. It is also common to feel numbness, withdrawal, disbelief and to have difficulty concentrating.
深深的情感痛苦是悲伤过程中很自然的一部分
Though it is understandable to try and avoid the intense distress connected with the grief process, 感受和处理所有产生的情绪是治疗的必要部分.
哀悼是一项艰苦的工作,往往是别人看不见的
没有人能感受到我们内心的痛苦, 也不能治愈它, 虽然他们的支持和鼓励会有所帮助.
悲伤的时间没有对错之分
The death of a loved one naturally brings about emotional, physical and spiritual pain. 因为一下子遇到这种痛苦会让人难以承受, 大多数情况下,我们进入它又离开它, 在剂量. Sometimes we need to distract ourselves; other times, we need to dive into it.
尊重这种悲伤的自然节奏. 一般来说,悲伤的过程比任何人预期的都要长.
内疚,无论是真实的还是想象的,都是悲伤的正常组成部分
内疚表现在“要是……就好了”的想法和感觉中." In order to heal this 内疚, it is most helpful to share these feelings with trusted others. 最终, we must forgive ourselves for whatever ways we failed in our relationship with the deceased. This is a challenging process that takes time and effort and is necessary to release yourself of the emotional burden.
讲述自己的故事是处理悲伤的一种自然方式
Seeking and accepting supportive people to listen to our stories is a vital part of successfully navigating the grief journey.
我们无法“克服”悲伤
Grief is a life altering experience that will continue to reverberate throughout our lives. 失落感会减弱,但不会完全消失. 最终,悲伤会改变我们. 然而, there is often a period of intense disorganization and distress before a sense of meaning and purpose return. 在那段时间里, the bereaved may feel that there is nothing to live for and may think about a release from this inner pain. 要确信痛苦会减轻,伤痛会愈合.
丧亲支持小组
Bereavement support groups provide opportunities for you to discuss your experiences and learn about grief with others who have experienced loss. 虽然大多数小组由训练有素的专业人员协助, 真正的支持来源是那些同样经历悲伤和失落的人.
Sometimes well-meaning friends or family try to protect the griever by not mentioning the dead person's name, 或者通过消除对失去的提醒. This strategy communicates that the pain of dealing with the loss would be overwhelming. 经常, 虽然朋友和家人是好意, they may either be experiencing loss as well or simply do not know how to "be there" in the most helpful way.
因为一个人在失去的时候极度敏感, 其他人的反应可能会令人失望或感到受伤. 在这种情况下, it can be very helpful to have a safe place to express your thoughts and feelings where you know everyone will understand and accept you.
当你可能需要额外的帮助来缓解悲伤时
Sometimes the natural process of bereavement can get shut down or go off track. 悲伤的过程可能非常混乱. 然而, 如果几个月后出现以下症状, 它们可能表明你需要额外的支持:
- 很多时候感到烦躁和愤怒
- 感觉麻木或无法感到悲伤,这种感觉不会放松
- 对自己或他人所爱的人的死亡感到非常焦虑
- 专注于死亡的细节
- 自我伤害行为
如果您正在经历任何这些症状, 请联系您的十大赌博平台排行榜, 护士, 社会工作者或咨询师.
支持孩子
当他们认识和爱的人去世时,孩子们会感到悲伤, 尽管他们表达感情的方式可能与成年人有所不同. 尽管他们似乎相对不受影响, they are processing their feelings through age-appropriate play and conversations. 孩子的年龄决定了他或她的理解程度, and adults need to modify their explanations and support to meet the developmental maturity of the child.
It is not uncommon for children to feel left out of the experience of the adults, so a special effort needs to be made to help them find age-appropriate ways to participate in the events surrounding the death. 给心爱的人写一封信, 画画, 参加葬礼或追悼会的, 或者与同样悲伤的人分享故事和眼泪, 帮助他们感受到包容,支持他们的康复. Be prepared to answer questions about death and what happens after a loved one dies.
支持儿童的方法
The following are a few ways to support children during the grieving process:
- 提供身体上的亲密、舒适和保证.
- 谈谈与逝者的特殊记忆和关系.
- 读一些关于悲伤的书,一起浏览相册.
- 承认并确认你的感受.
- Talk about your family's ethnic or faith tradition about life, death and the afterlife.
- 要有耐心.
- 要知道,不知道所有问题的答案也没关系. 孩子们需要大人和他们一起思考重要的事情.
帮助孩子们参加葬礼和纪念活动
Allowing children and teens to say goodbye to the person who died is an important part of their grieving process. Participating in a service will show children how important their loved one was to others, 让他们知道悲伤是可以的.
仪式前, 让孩子知道会发生什么是很有帮助的, 谁会在那里, 会议将在何时何地举行,以及为什么重要. 让孩子的问题和天生的好奇心引导讨论. 如果你也在悲伤, it is helpful to assign another adult to share responsibility for observing and supporting children during the funeral or memorial.
有些孩子可能希望参加这项服务. Bereaved children feel that their feelings matter when they can share a favorite memory or read a special poem as part of the funeral. Shy or young children can participate by lighting a candle or placing something special in the casket or on an altar. 取决于年龄和情感成熟度, 孩子们也可以帮忙挑选棺材, 为心爱的人挑选衣服或珠宝, 或者选择歌曲, 仪式上的音乐或读物.
孩子们应该选择不十大赌博靠谱网络平台吗, invite them to create their own ritual or activity for saying goodbye – for example, 点一支蜡烛或种一种花或树.
更多的信息
加州大学旧金山分校健康医学专家已经审查了这些信息. It is for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace the advice of your doctor or other health care provider. We encourage you to discuss any questions or concerns you may have with your provider.